The Crane Wife by The Decemberists
Dear Miss Austen,
Was thrilled to receive your message this evening. I would have picked up the phone, but it was during Kate's Special Alone Time (every Tuesday at 8pm on Global. Google it, if you have to. It starts with H and ends with -ouse is a very sexy drug-addicted cripple). Naturally, I am quite keen to phone you back and discuss Marianne's recovery (does she really become a modest woman?), but you neglected to leave any contact information. As you are already well-versed with the 20th-century invention of the telephone, I have no doubt that a well-turned Regency-era writer such as yourself will also be comfortable with the series of interconnected tubes called the Internets.