Rob Anders: Hasn't He Done Enough?

Today's soundtrack:
"True Patriot Love" by Joel Plaskett
"Oh.. Canada" by Classified

Today, I proudly announce a campaign to help out one of our own. A fellow Calgarian, just like our esteemed Prime Minister, who has worked tirelessly in Canadian politics since 1997 (CPC profile). A man so bold in his convictions, so firm in his beliefs, that the party that he represents does not even feel the need to force this man to campaign in his own riding during elections. I am speaking, of course, of Calgary-West's own Rob Anders.

But who is this man that has worked so doggedly for his riding? You may well ask, gentle reader. After earning a degree in Political Science from the University of Calgary, Anders grudgingly went to work in the States, helping the Republican Party's Jim Inhofe and overcoming his own quiet, demuring ways to become known a "foreign political saboteur" and a professional heckler (CBC profile). It was there, analysts believe, that Anders first became acquainted with the emerging philosophy of speaking from one's gut, or as it is known colloquially, Gut-Oral-Projection (or, more colloquially still, GOP). It is the GOP philosophy that has provided Anders with both his outlook and dogmatic guidance over the years.

Anders returned to Canada after his years abroad determined to make his home country a better place (unlike Michael Ignatieff who most definitely did not come back for us). He began by bravely facing off against fat, bureaucratic unions whose only goal is to swell their numbers in order to beat terrified, undefended, poor capitalists into submission. It was here that his path first crossed with that of Stephen Harper and the Reform Party of Canada. He was integral to the development of the Reform Party and their policies, both of which were helped not only by his GOP philosophy, but also his links to Focus on the Family and the Canadian Family Action Coalition, to name a few.

After being elected, Anders worked so tirelessly that he did not even have the strength to speak up in Parliament but a few times; however, those few times he did step onto the floor, Anders bravely spoke up for those who didn't have a voice. Who among us can forget the time when in 2001 Anders denounced Nelson Mandela as a "communist and a terrorist", striking a blow simultaneously for both McCarthy and Botha. Or the time when Anders gave Patton-esque military wisdom with his message in 2010 to Canadian troops in Afganistan "If in doubt, pull the trigger", brilliantly sweeping away past the past demons of Somalia. A true parliamentarian to the core, his giving of the middle finger to the opposition didn't even make hansard.

Yet after all he has done both on the Hill and in his riding (I, for one, am filled with glee when I open my mailbox to find yet another CPC mailer warning of the dangers of immigration, Muslims, and the Canadian Human Rights Act), Harper still will not let Anders take a knee, relax, and retire. How much more does Harper want to wring from this poor, over-commited, dedicated public servant? How much more can Anders take?

The solution is clear. The only way to give Anders the retirement he deserves - the retirement that all partisans so intent on destroying cronyism that they themselves become cronies truly deserve - is to send Anders to the Senate. It shouldn't be too difficult, seeing as the Senate is still an appointed body and Anders has the unblinking support of Harper. Send Harper a clear message. Support Anders by getting him into the Senate. Support Anders by voting him out this election.

Rob Anders: Hasn't he done enough?